Friday, December 12, 2008

Feline Update

I'm happy to report that the two mini-felines who were discarded in our ditch are now installed in their new cat-centric household, with two humans to see to their every whim. They have blossomed in every way while under the tender ministrations of Alison and are now happy, healthy and very much in favour of interaction with the human race. Their new humans emptied their bank account and have bought them every toy and accessory they could find. We're all very pleased to hear that the brothers will be together for life.

The woman has promised me my own cat and I just wish she'd hurry up. She says we will know when the right one comes along. Maybe she'll get me two. Or a baker's dozen. I plan to spend lots of time educating them and showing them all the important things felines need to know. Well, except for catching and dismembering rodents - they'll have to work that one out on their own.

The woman went away today to visit relatives - some nonsense to do with the festive season and while she was gone Doc helped me to prepare a surprise for her. I'm still quite annoyed at having been told off about my self-help plan to overcome my fear of shavings bags by ripping them all open. I was staring through the gate at the rows of bags that she had placed out of my reach when Doc came along and asked what I was doing. I explained my frustration at being denied the tools I need to conquer my phobia and he immediately offered to help. "Dood", he said, "ya just had ta ast me." With that he reached over the gate and by latching onto the keystone bag in the middle, he pulled over the whole pile. Then we went to work , ripping and pinching and puncturing until we had shavings and bits of plastic everywhere. I felt like a born-again donkey, in charge of my life and afraid no more of the crackling demons. We were so hard at work that we didn't see herself appear at the door. "WHAT.HAVE.YOU.DONE??" she bellowed. We exited hastily, leaving a churning mass of shavings in our wake. "Thank you so much for turning the run-in into a snow globe", she shrieked after us.

She became so embroiled in cleaning up after us that I'm sorry to say dinner was late. When I made a pathetic whuffling noise to indicate that I was light-headed from starvation, all she said was "you brought this on yourself, you conniving little donkey". Any festive spirit that she acquired today obviously wore off on the way home.

10 comments:

Dougie Donk said...

I get a nice warm feeling reading about your mini-felines, so well done again to the caring humans.

Even better news that you are to get a feline of your very own - might you get your woman to amend the blog site so that we can also share our photos with you? I am sure you would approve of my felines & I would like your opinion on the Hound from Hades!

I'm sure your woman's festive spirit will return, when she has time to reflect & fully appreciate what a fine example of equine co-operation your latest desensitisation exercise was. LOL

billie said...

What a wonderful report on the felines!

Your commitment to research and self-improvement are to be heartily commended. I have faith that ONE day the woman will learn to celebrate your brilliance.

(it could be worse! I just heard a radio interview last week about two twin brothers who are inventors - they blew up their family's woodstove by putting an unopened can of soup inside when they were boys!)

Buddy said...

SO happpy to read that the felines are being treated like little princes!!

I too would like to be able to post a pic of me in my navy sport coat for Miss Molly - perhaps it could be printed out and posted in her stall.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
She'll get over it, although it may take a few days....glad that your feline buddies are doing so well and enjoying life in general....you should be enjoying it too, as your overcoming the fear of those dastardly plastic bag monsters is almost complete....WELL DONE to both you and Sir Doc, sir!
Mr Gale

Alison Corr said...

Your friends have the nicest comments Sheaffer. It has been fun reading all the comments about the kittens. I have had a wonderful time caring for them, but am overjoyed at their adoption by such caring people who will be keeping them together. You really should get a cat of your own. They fill the day with sunshine and laughter. It is great that you are getting over your fear of the monster plastic bags. I am sure that your human will find her festive spirit again soon and realize that this was all for the good of your psychological health.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, I can't wait for my cat to arrive! I have instructed the woman to strain her tiny brain and figure out a way that I can post pictures from my friends. I wonder if setting up an e-mail account where readers could send the photo as a file would work? She's so technically challenged that she probably couldn't operate an abacus with two beads on it.

Billie, your encouragement means a lot. By the way, was one of those boy-inventors who blew up the stove with a can of soup called TJ??

Buddy, Molly says if we can figure out a way to get a gigantic picture of you for her stall she will stay in there twenty four hours a day to swoon over it. She must be at a "boy-crazy" stage - afterall, she is 12 years old. Otherwise she is quite simply unhinged.

Mr. Gale, thank you for seeing the situation in it's true light. You think she'd be pleased that I took my destiny into my own hoofs, as it were, but no, of course not. I regard her as a "glass is half empty" sort of human.

Alison, so glad you could join us! I have told the woman she should model herself after you - like my other blog friends, you can see my self-therapy as something of value,not simply wanton destruction. Please let us know how the mini-brothers are doing. As you can tell, we're all very excited about their voyage from ditch to feline palace. Kudos to you.

billie said...

You know, I hadn't thought of it, Sheaffer, but it very likely WAS TJ! Can't you just see him smirking while waiting for the soup to heat up inside the can?

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - it snowed here today - didn't stay on the ground - but it was falling from the sky - sometimes big beautiful flakes of snow. Its very cold too! Gonna do this for a couple more days - but then I'll be very tired of it. I have to wear my blankie all day because it was so cold and snowy and raining.

Just wanted to share!

Ginger (Baker not Rogers) said...

Perilous conditions
Buddy, where do you live that snow is a phenomenon? We have suffered through snow freezing rain and snow in the last week but yesterday it was rain and last night the big freeze. Not a problem until the fat lady deposited our daily rations in a paddock with a mile of sheet ice at the entrance. Heedless!
Negotiating ice is no problem for her highness Annie who has shoes, pads and wicked studs. I gathered myself up at the edge of the ice and then, to the fat lady's horror, stepped onto the ice. Within seconds, I was dancing the tarantella. My little hooves were a blur. Sensing imminent disaster, I made a supreme effort to jump across the abyss and in three desperate bounds crash-landed on the other side.
Mortified, the fat lady hurtled forward to prevent Fred from following but he was unstoppable, doing a respectable foxtrot, mostly on the spot. His solution, go faster, merely created the momentum to catapult him across the ice, landing on his butt with a sad little donkey "mmmph" but struggled up and made it onto dry land.
The fat lady rushed into the barn for rock salt and coated the offending surface liberally. However, as she drove to work she mulled over the very real possibility that we would stay in this paddock until spring rather than risk our necks in the donkey ice-skating Olympics.

ponymaid said...

Buddy, you have my sincere condolences. I had no idea that the new ice age had stretched so far south already. Has your woman made any progress on getting you your own donkey? At least then you would have someone to commiserate with when the weather is disgusting.

Ah yes, Ginger, you have described the wasteland of winter in all it's horror. We have had similar conditions but Jack and I just stay in the run-in and let the others brave the skating rink. Yesterday it was the woman madly rotating one leg in circles as she spun of the ice, using the other leg to balance and trying not to drop the hay she was carrying. It made for a momentary bright moment in a dark day.