Thursday, May 7, 2009

Jabbed and Stabbed

My friend Billie, human to Rafer and Redford Donkey, tells me those boys had their annual pokes in the neck today - maybe there is some sort of international plot to torment equines on this particular date Otherwise it is a bizarre coincidence that we received a visit from Dr. Kathryn, clutching a handful of shiny needles and using her falsely soothing tones.

We suspected something was up; we were haltered and put inside just after noon . The footman has just been so there was only one alternative. Jack is so incensed and angry that he asked to tell his version first hand or hoof, so to speak, and I feel it might prove therapeutic for his jangled nerves.

"I knew I sniffed a rat or somethin worse and sure nough, in strolls one of them red haired veitinary gals with her backup. Smart gal, she sends in the backup gal and i pretty soon had that one up aginst the wall so in come the vitinary, with some needles behin her back. I tossed her out too so then botha them get me in a headlock and blam! they sticks me like a pincushion. All the while they're sayin their sorry and it won't hurt but a bit and all sortsa other black lies. Dang it, in my day gals stayed home and did needlework on samplers an things. They didn't take delight in jammin needles inta unsuspectin victims or drive all over creation looking for ole donkeys to torture. Anyways so then they opens the barn door and says we won't be botherin ya til nex year Jack an I thinks ha! not if i sees ya first. Then the door starts blowin shut an they laugh an say oh no now yer stuck here with us and i jest gives that door an almighty push with my nose and I'm free. They got NO right ta keep showin up and manglin my person. Does any of ya know a good litugation lawyer so i kin sue them gals?"

You see? He didn't take it at all well. I was prepared to be stoic while they jabbed my neck but I did throw in a decent rear to let them know I wasn't pleased. Even with the added elevation I only came up to the vet's belt buckle and she just laughed. Very cavalier, these modern young women professionals. Doc and Molly don't mind needles at all and shamelessly begged for treats and just generally sold out to the enemy. Doc reacts badly to blackfly bites and the poor lad has them in the thousands so he has some powder to help with that. Jack is still brooding over the sneak attack but the woman has promised him a special dinner. He says that knowing her it will be delivered intraveinously.


billie said...

Sheaffer, there is something going on, most assuredly.

Rafer Johnson and Redford were also haltered and put in their stall/paddock area with Salina so they would be ready when the vet arrived.

I went to get a load of hay and when I turned around, they had both REMOVED their halters and Redford was chasing Rafer, holding Rafer's halter in his mouth. Such shenanigans got our morning off to a humorous start, and we all survived.

Redford had a brief confrontation with the Clippers From Hell, but the vet wisely put them away and proceeded with caution.

I wish I could say all the horses were angelic. They all were, except for the pony, who had to be sedated in order to get his ear cleaned out. He did not get his shot, but did get blood drawn and got his teeth checked.

It was a rather full morning for us, but I am happy to report that the donkeys and all the horses except for Cody will NOT need teeth floatings.

Redford has a summer plus to continue living "intact" - we have decided to do the dreadful deed of gelding in the fall when the temps begin to cool.

I am glad you got in a rear, even if it was a small one. It's important to keep the "vitnery gals" on their toes. (although it sounds like Jack is going a bit further!)

Gale said...

Jack, it's great to hear your version of the story. But at least it's over with and you're all set for the summer!

I know we have to do a certain someone's shots FIRST because if she (Petunia, shhh, you didn't read her name) sees the needles ahead of time, all Hades breaks out!

Isn't it interesting that the larger equines don't give a hoot (usually) about blood draws and needles, etc.? I guess the smaller versions are so much more sensitive to what's happening and able to read our sneaky human tactics far better than the larger ones. Same goes for the vermifuge syringes, only here one must prepare to do battle with Annie to administer that of these days the worms may win!

CindyLouWho said...

Oh My! That is sooo eerie! The veterinary entourage showed up here yesterday as well!! It MUST be an International Conspiracy!!! They tricked me, too, as Dr Deme came, and she hasn't come since Pnut was a foal... She had two younger "baby" vets with her. I was saying hello, lovely to see you when, the next thing I knew, she had hold of my nose, telling one of the young'uns to grab me this way, stick "it" "up there" and blast. Well, I thought, teaching, is she, I'll teach this baby something... so I stuck my head up in the air as far as I could. Unfortunately, my woman was hanging onto my halter and I had to bring my head back down after a second.. she is like your woman in the largesse department... whereupon the young whippersnapper snagged me and stuck a tube up my nose, deploying some sort of sneezing agent, as that is what I did for a minute or two after. Now why would they come out here especially to stick something up an old mare's nose (I turned 21 a week+ ago) to make her sneeze? My only consolation was that the pony got not only that, but two shots as well. I had already had the rest of my spring shots, so all I got was the sneeze liquid. We have been temporarily saved from the vermifuge, as our test you-know-whats came back clean. I have a plan in mind about the vermifuge and how to keep it away... it's not ready to share yet, but I will keep you and the other 4-leggers up to date.

Buddy said...

Gee Thanks everyone - my woman just called the vet and he will be out next week to give me my shots. I really don't mind - I just hate listening to mom complaining about how much it cost - she needs to learn how to do it herself then.

Have a good weekend everyone!


Dougie Donk said...

Oh my, you have induced concern in the Scottish herd! My assurances that their shots are some four and ahalf months away has not alleviated their tendancy to snort & shoot off when they see me coming down the field... or perhaps the late Spring grass is more alluring than work?

If only the rain would go off, then I could take their rainwear off - that would divert attentions for a while. In the meantime, mudbaths seem to be as good as it gets!

ponymaid said...

Billie, your equines are doing a fine job of distracting you on the day of the sharp needles. Enquiring minds would like to know what it was in the pony's ear? Do I need to worry about similar procedures? It wasn't a potato, was it? I have a vague fear that, given the acres of potatoes surrounding us, someday one will take root in my ear canal. I'm glad Redford will have the summer before "going under the knife". I still cross my hind legs when I remember that dark day...

Gale, Jack and Petunia (what a lovely name for a lady donkey) must be related. His radar for sharp objects is always on high alert. He is a very stoical old donkey and I believe him when he says it hurts terribly when they jab him. I suppose the only worse thing would be his getting lockjaw or rabies - though he says he'd take his chances with the rabid wildlife any day.

CindyLouWho, my only conclusion is that they live to torment us. Why else would they invite perfect strangers to come over and drench us in sneezing powder and use us as pincushions? Good for you taking on the junior vets - get them while they're young and put the fear of equus in their hearts. Let them go back to their clinics and pick on gerbils and mice. I can't wait to hear your cunning plan...Soon?

Buddy, you have noticed this strange phenomenom as well? They invite the needle stickers over and then moan about the expense. The answer would seem obvious to me but of course they're mere simians.

DougieDonk - it's best to remain on high needle alert in all seasons - Jack has taught me that well. We are water logged here as well but it's from a series of violent storms that sweep through, leaving pale, drowned earthworms in it's wake and soggy donkeys with damp ears. The dog has been under the bed for days and the cats are furious about the whole weather situation.

billie said...

Sheaffer, we think it was either a tick bite or an ant bite - the bite itself was on the mend, but the ear seemed to be generating tons of gunk that then clogged the ear canal.

Either that or he went out and stuffed his ear full of gunk in order to get out of the shot!

The image of you walking around with potato vines growing out of your ears has me smiling. I'm sure the woman will never let such a thing happen!

ponymaid said...

Billie, I'm so relieved it wasn't a "spud". Those things can grow anywhere. I pictured myself with an ear trumpet saying "eh, what?" every time someone addressed me. Although 14 is a mature age, I'm not ready for that just yet. Is the poor pony now gunk-free?

billie said...

Sheaffer, totally gunk free and back to his normal pony self.

OTOH, Redford went on an adventure a couple of nights ago and had to be retrieved with halter and lead rope from the neighbor's yard! He was trying to get back to the herd but followed the fence line (on the outside) around the long way and ended up over there.

He was so sweet (and we were so scared until we spotted him) - stood and got his halter on, then marched with us with a flashlight all the way home.

I fear you are right and we have a world traveler donkey on our hands.