Thursday, May 21, 2009

Pre-Party Frenzy

The woman is the one in the frenzy, not myself. In fact, I keep trying to waylay her with questions about my party and she keeps saying "Not now, Sheaffer, I'm too busy." She's certainly moving fast but I'm not sure how effectively. She has bits of glitter and icing stuck to her person and moves all sorts of thing from her vehicle into the house and back again. Even worse, I'm still not sure what I will be wearing but the things she's been suggesting do not auger well. A hat with candles on the top? A fake tail of purple vinyl hair? Not if I can help it.

I promised to find out about the PrimRose residents who are greatly in need of homes and I have finally extracted the information. Blue and Lollipop are two standard jennys in their twenties who came from a very loving home and have no issues, emotional or physical. Their former owner is a long-distance driver of one of those very long truck things. He arranged for other humans to care for his two donkey friends when he was away and unfortunately it didn't work out. Rather than return home to empty feed bowls, scummy water troughs and distraught, hungry donkeys, he placed them with Sheila.

Finnegan and Cheyenne are the next pair in need of a home. Finnegan is a small standard mule who was rescued from a meat auction. His humans had allowed his halter to grow into the bones of his face and as a result he is a tad head-shy. He is only eight years old and has a full life ahead of him. His close friend Cheyenne, a ten year old mini-horse, must wear one of those dreadful grazing muzzles when on grass, otherwise he develops podiatry problems. The boys are looking for a home together where they can take their own humans under their wings, so to speak.

There was a third resident looking for a home but he seems to have chosen a person himself. His name is Theodore and he is a fifteen year old small standard donkey. Sheila received a call last winter that a donkey had been found tied to a dumpster and beaten nearly to a pulp. He was still alive, barely, and Sheila rushed to his assistance. He has come a very long way but still has worries about any implement with a long handle. Recently the sanctuary had a mother and daughter drop by and the woman told Sheila a story of how she had stopped a cattle conveyance on it's way to the slaughter house. This woman had seen horse hoofs on the top deck and asked the driver to stop and sell her the horse. She increased her offer until he pulled over, unloaded the cows and gave her the horse. That much-loved horse still lives with them. Theodore, who is normally quite reserved, decided he wanted the woman's daughter as his own human. He glued himself to her on the first and subsequent visits. Obviously he could tell that compassion for animals runs in their blood. He will go to live with them shortly. I do love happy endings.

We've been asked if Sheila's place is a recognized charity and the answer is yes. The number is 866707706RR0001 just in case that's of use to anyone. She will bring a book of receipts to the party for those who should require them. I plan to eat the rest, as there is virtually no donkey food from the sounds of it. I will do my best to update you on the proceedings but am currently hostage to the growing atmosphere of pre-party hysteria. I know how the Queen must feel.


Gale said...

Sheaffer, bless you for overlooking the pre-party frenzy in lieu of getting the word out about those at Primrose in need of homes.

Sheaffer, sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Thanks to you, I'm able to laugh a bit. Lord have mercy, what a world we live in!

robert5721 said...

I am placing MY DEMAND to the woman that you have a piece of birthday cake....I mean, it is YOUR birthday, RIGHT? I love and respect your attention to the donkeys at Primrose Sanctuary, and your play by play descriptions of who they are and what they need....our birthday present has already been sent to you, in the name of Primrose, so rest assured that we are thinking of you!!!!
Mr Gale

Ben said...

Again you show your nobility, calmly laying out the facts while all about you is ruin and chaos. Jerry and I both came from the Primrose Sanctuary and had it not been for Sheila we would likely have been renamed Alpo and Ol' Roy. I shudder to think of it. We are overjoyed to be able to assist in this Grand Venture. It will also be splendid to see The Sheila woman again. We have been driving the humans here at a ruthless pace. All must be ready. The Barn man has stepped his grooming up to new heights and much of our winter coats have gone. (perhaps this was also a natural defensive measure to avoid those Demon shears you spoke off.)He, however was muttering something about brush in hair colour and Sparkle Gel when he left today. Should I be afraid?
3 more sleeps to go

ponymaid said...

Gale, what's left of my hair is turning white. These stories from the sanctuary seem hardly believable to me - why would anyone try to murder a donkey? Theodore is a most charming individual and I can't imagine what slight the human in question perceived to drive him to such a frenzy. What a world indeed. Maybe it's just as well I'm distracted by all this party bruhaha.

Mr. Gale, I have forwarded your request that I be given cake and she is mulling it over. Now, if only you and Gale were here, you could "persuade" her in person...Your very generous cheque will go a long way to helping Sheila's charges. She seems quite amazed and touched by the outpouring of help from all over the world. We wanted her to know she was not alone in her efforts and I think we have her convinced! Of course TJ thinks all the money is for him - a mule scholarship fund.

Ben, you ask should you be afraid? You should be utterly terrified. The humans are possessed by the idea of decorating us like so many Christmas trees. Plug-in lights will be next - mark my words. I'm extremely relieved that you escaped the dreaded donkey mowers.

BumbleVee said...

oh, this is great! Things are really ramping up now ...
I'm quite excited about the party myself and I won't even be there. Sadly it costs more to fly to Toronto than it does to England from here.... who can believe that? What a rip-off !
I'm hoping there is a huge turnout with big hearts and bigger wallets...
Even the little bit I put on my blog seemed to generate a lot of interest and another lady stopped by to say she also has put a blurb on her blog about the Primrose's like that ad...she told two friends and they told two friends.... hopefully this will all help Sheila and her many rescues.... she must be a very kind and caring lady....

billie said...

Sheaffer, hang in there. The party will soon begin and you can relax and enjoy.

Sometime on Sunday I hope you will find the time to come by my blog, as two 'young sprog' donkeys have a little surprise planned for you. :)

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

I fervently hope that my Birthday Card arrives before the party! My silly procrastinating woman failed to mail it until last Monday, forgetting that it might take a while for a letter to cross a border.
I'm sure the woman is just teasing you with those sartorial slanders. Your garb will be lovely, I'm thinking a tweed vest and cap...
Will your speech be video taped? Your fans certainly want the momentous occasion captured for posterity. Stay calm throughout everything, and try to keep Jack calm as well,... Have you decided whether he will be better off staying at home, worrying about you, or going to the party, worrying about what will happen there?
Regards to all,
CindyLouWho & Co.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - soon - the party will begin - yeehaa - wish I was gonna be there.


Happy Birthday dear Fren!


ponymaid said...

BumbleVee, you've expanded the donkey cause further and further afield. Excellent work and much appreciated by donkeys everywhere. Tuffy is now the only one not suffering from nerves. He remains strong and stoical in his egg. Every venture needs a leader and he has fallen naturally into the role. I can't wait to tell you who his new person is.

Billie, my nephews have a surprise for me?! I love surprises. I will await the revelation breathlessly. Thank you for thinking of me.

CindyLouWho, we call our postal service here the "snail mail" and it rarely fails to live up to the appelation. Your card has not quite arrived yet - but don't despair it will eventually. Meanwhile I will have one more thing to which I can look forward. Jack has decided not to come on Sunday as it feels it would cause an unprecendented attack of the screaming squitters. Just as well perhaps for the non-donkey guests.

Buddy, how we wish you could join us. You would love the whole party atmosphere and Molly would be thrilled to act as "arm candy". Thank you for sending your allowance for the sanctuary - it was most kind of you to give up your carrots and apples to help others.