Saturday, July 12, 2008

Always Happy To Help

We animals have had a busy week, supervising the woman and trying to help out any way we can. She says we're a pack of interfering busy bodies but of course that's just the heat and humidity talking. We know that in her heart of hearts, she is really most appreciative and all the expletives are in fact her roundabout way of thanking us.

Doc helped out by grabbing one piece of baler twine which resulted in an avalanche of newly stacked hay bales. They piled up against the gate, which he says makes it far easier for her to reach. By sheer coincidence, we are also able to browse on it freely, but of course that was merely a secondary effect. The woman has turned it around and says it wasn't a good deed but an act of vandalism. She really very paranoid sometimes.

Then she scrubbed out our water trough and left the hose in it to refill. Doc says he was merely moving the hose aside with his teeth so he could have a drink and that's how he came to inadvertantly aim it into the tack room. It took the woman awhile to realize what had happened and when she rushed to grab the hose, it was snaking around in a lively fashion and she got soaked. You'd think she'd appreciate a cool shower in this weather, but noooo. She looked quite demented, hair standing on end, streaks of barn filth running off her person and shouting and gesticulating wildly. This can't be good for her - I think she needs to try meditation.

Jack and I got in trouble when we were helping to clean up the loose hay in the barn aisle. We tried to slide a water bucket aside and it tipped into a bag of powder she spreads on the wet spots in our stalls. The powder is called Stable Boy and it got quite damp and clumpy and the bottom of the bag dissolved. We were prompty expelled, though it was obviously an accident.

Molly felt she should contribute by leaning into the tack room and tidying up the window sill. Her head emerged draped with some cobwebs and with a sticky strip for catching flies stuck to her nose. She tried to wipe it off on her leg and the resulting gluey mess of goo and dead flies somehow got all over her and the woman who tried to remove the thing. Now the woman was soaking wet, filthy and covered in dead flies and goo. She was beginning to look apoplectic, so we left and she staggered off to the house.

Despite her hostile nature, we will remain steadfast in our efforts to help. I wish she'd stop saying the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

9 comments:

Buddy said...

Molly is just so wonderful - trying to help clean up and all - her heart is in the right place. She can do no wrong!

XXOO

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
it looks to me like you guys have been comparing notes with our crew....espcially the Docinator with the bale string trick....Gale gets about the color of the Louisa Fire Engine and says things that she immediately regrets....hmmmm....well maybe not. The tasty morsels get well cared for and cleaned up immediately.
On a body score scale. most of the field army are about a 12, and the scale stops at ten, so....
keep up the good work, and I am sure that the woman will come around, especially after a few days on prozac....smile....
Mr Gale
your fan

billie said...

Oh my - it sounds like one of those crazy days at the barn! I think you should start a meditation group and see if you can help the woman calm down some. Sheaffer, I feel sure you are a master of meditation, and Jack as well.

Rafer Johnson continues to put the hugs on, aligning his eye with mine, and puts me deep into a donkey trance. He could knock the whole barn down, give me a hug and that eye, and I'd say "oh, well, we needed a new one anyway."

ponymaid said...

buddy, this is getting out of hand/hoof. Molly wants a heart with your name in it tatooed on her shoulder. She wanted it elsewhere but thought the woman would approve even less of her having your name emblazoned across her billboard-sized posterior.

Mr. Gale, the woman says we're on our way to 15 on the body score scale. We consider ourselves a herd of over-achievers. It would be of scientific interest to me to be able compare the shades of red attained by Gale and the woman.

billie, I have researched Merchant Ivory and have decided they have just the right touch to make a film about self and Jack. Something in sepia tones with a lot of chamber music. Rafer is progressing so quickly for someone his age - getting humans into a trance sometimes takes years, and here he has you under his spell already. I'm sure he is as skilled at barn help as we are, and that you are equally as grateful.

billie said...

I neglected to mention that Rafer Johnson is very inclined toward turning things on and off. He was unplugging the electric fence charger until we went solar, and now walks around the barn aisle and turns all the barn lights on.

He seems to have a thing for the muck rake handle, wanting to take it out of my hands and if not allowed, chases the rake part with ears flat to his head.

Molly is making me laugh with her desire for tattoos. My goodness - she has barely just MET Buddy! Is Doc having a fit?

Buddy said...

A Tattoo - oh my what a great idea - a heart with an arrow through it and our initials - yes I want one. There are several tattoo places here - perhaps next time mom drops her cell I'll call one out.

I love you Molly!!

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
You said meditation, and I thought you meant MEDICATION....maybe she should try them BOTH....quickly....
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

billie, Doc is confused by this whirlwind long-distance affair - he's never had an unseen adversary so he thinks Buddy is imaginary. We feel it's safest to go along with that delusion...

We donkeys love switches and levers and anything that can be manipulated with our finely tuned noses. He will soon understand the fundamentals of electricity.

buddy, Molly is plotting to escape and make her way to a tattoo shop to get what she calls a "tramp stamp". I didn't ask her to explain the term...

Mr. Gale, funny you should mention the mix-up - the woman often says we are going to drive her to strong medication or she may consider consulting someone called Jack Daniels to help with her nerves.

Buddy said...

Oh Molly - isn't she just perfect. A tramp stamp huh - well I guess mine would be a what?

Please tell her I am sending all my love to my precious!

XXOO