Tuesday, January 15, 2008

My Political Career

Such excitement! For years I have pondered a life in politics and here Mr. Gale has offered to manage my campaign (with Dicey in a PR role). I have strong feelings on the subject of one of the major parties using a donkey logo without donkey permission and if they refuse to desist, my banner will feature a cartoon version of a human head in all it's goofy splendour. Then we'll see how they like it.

As to my citizenship, I believe I hold two passports (maybe more). Though I travel with my Canadian papers, I have a grandfather with the registered name of Chicago Brownie which gives me American citizenship as well (and possibly a useful mob connection). My platform will be based upon the irrefutable belief that there should be a twig in every pot and an annual allotment of at least one ton of carrots for each donkey. The current candidates don't have a decent sized ear amongst them, so I will emphasize that large ears make for better listening. My role model has always been Sir Winston Churchill, both for his substantial girth and his strong leadership qualities. I plan to acquire a bowler hat and waistcoat to underline the resemblance. I have always enjoyed standing with my front feet on any sort of box and have some skill in mingling with the masses, so I am quite prepared to hit the campaign trail. I suggest we start somewhere warm, like the Baja in California.

I like the suggestion of enlisting TJ in the Foreign Legion. He's very taken with flashy outfits and loves to charge around aimlessly inflicting collateral damage on everything in sight. He would be an excellent live explosives expert . Failing that, I plan to relegate all mules in my kingdom - err, sorry, I meant republic - to work in the sewers. In better days they could have replaced pit ponies in the mines, but I must be seen to keep up with the times.

On a lighter note, two lively young donkeys called Fred and Ginger have taken up residence at Elfwood Farm. It's taken literally a decade of working on their human woman, but she finally saw reason and admitted that life without donkeys is quite pointless.


robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, THIS IS GREAT !! Chicago Brownie can be the secretary of the treasury, giving your republic the guarantee that the trash will get removed and keep the republic running via the kickbacks....mob connections are a must when one is in politics!!
I must send a note to the woman to bribe her into giving YOU extra carrots and stud muffins, right in front of TJ the TERRORIST....that way he will have to negotiate with YOU over getting perks....LOL....his new picture is kinda cute for a terrorist.
Have a great day, and all of the donkeys here at tolde towne are planning away, we MUST contact the donkeys at Gate Farm for their input. Dicey's mom lives there.
Mr Gale
Advisor DRMD Party Shaeffer For President Committee

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, you must believe me, TJ is simply highly photogenic. In reality he is a hideous, deformed creature with gimlet eyes and a contorted visage. The woman says I'm at an age where I need glasses, but of course that's nonsense.
I will endeavour to track down the Chicago branch of the family to arrange the "treasury" post - I just hope the media doesn't dig too deeply into their, ummm, unorthodox business arrangements. If so, we will have tunaman deal with them.