My Political Career

Such excitement! For years I have pondered a life in politics and here Mr. Gale has offered to manage my campaign (with Dicey in a PR role). I have strong feelings on the subject of one of the major parties using a donkey logo without donkey permission and if they refuse to desist, my banner will feature a cartoon version of a human head in all it's goofy splendour. Then we'll see how they like it.

As to my citizenship, I believe I hold two passports (maybe more). Though I travel with my Canadian papers, I have a grandfather with the registered name of Chicago Brownie which gives me American citizenship as well (and possibly a useful mob connection). My platform will be based upon the irrefutable belief that there should be a twig in every pot and an annual allotment of at least one ton of carrots for each donkey. The current candidates don't have a decent sized ear amongst them, so I will emphasize that large ears make for better listening. My role model has always been Sir Winston Churchill, both for his substantial girth and his strong leadership qualities. I plan to acquire a bowler hat and waistcoat to underline the resemblance. I have always enjoyed standing with my front feet on any sort of box and have some skill in mingling with the masses, so I am quite prepared to hit the campaign trail. I suggest we start somewhere warm, like the Baja in California.

I like the suggestion of enlisting TJ in the Foreign Legion. He's very taken with flashy outfits and loves to charge around aimlessly inflicting collateral damage on everything in sight. He would be an excellent live explosives expert . Failing that, I plan to relegate all mules in my kingdom - err, sorry, I meant republic - to work in the sewers. In better days they could have replaced pit ponies in the mines, but I must be seen to keep up with the times.

On a lighter note, two lively young donkeys called Fred and Ginger have taken up residence at Elfwood Farm. It's taken literally a decade of working on their human woman, but she finally saw reason and admitted that life without donkeys is quite pointless.