Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Retraction and A Provocation

Doc has gotten himself in a state over my mention of his blanket obsession. He wants me change the wording from "poufy snowsuit" to "rugged outdoor survival wear". Fine, but a snowsuit by any other name etc... I think he's afraid of the reaction from his friends who also look like fireplugs . When they get together they play something called paddock hockey, which involves a lot of body slamming and going into the corners while trying to bring the opponent to his knees. If you can believe it, this is their idea of "male bonding". Tchaah.

I've been giving a lot of intense thought to my political platform. I was doing so today, with my eyes closed, when of course TJ materialized and said "Whaddar ya doin"? I said "I'm contemplating." Then he said "WHY?" and I said "Because contemplation precedes action." "WHY?", he asked? I sighed and said "Because thinking animals do things in that order." "WHY?" he said. I replied "Try it sometime and you'll see that..."WHYWHYWHYWHY?" At that point I attempted to box his ears but he he ran away and said "Ya see, akshun is way more funner, hahahaha." Oh Lord, give me strength.

I really think that boy needs sedatives. The plow came to clear our driveway this afternoon and TJ was spellbound. An hour later, when it was time to go into our rooms, he was so still so excited he kept running into the barn, grabbing mouthfuls of food and rushing back out. The woman finally blocked his exit route and he reluctantly went into his room. It's exhausting just watching him. I may have to close my eyes for a minute...


robert5721 said...

Shaffer, I have been told by experts that mules only have three neurons (the cells in the brain that make it work)....one for eating, one for walking and one as a spare....unlike donkeys that have many of them operational for conscious thought and planning etc. . This is why the donkey part of the mule is the better half. if the eating one is engaged, the others cannot operate. Stuff his face full od hay (ONLY the stuff that you do not want for snacking) and he will be unable to wreak havoc on you. This will also add girth to the poor boy and tire him out faster. Keep contemplating my friend, the field of competitors in the presidential race is getting smaller.
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale - three neurons? I think you're being overly generous. His eating ability is highly developed but owing to extreme hyperactivity, his weight remains stable. I am heartened by the fact that the presidential candidates are scrapping amongst themselves like a herd of mini-mules. In fact, I may send TJ in amongst them as a sort of incendiary device/saboteur - they won't know what hit them.

Gale said...

Isn’t it wonderful to have interesting things like the snowplow to watch? Like Superbowl fans, TJ wants to have food along with the entertainment.

Across the street from our donkey pasture, there’s a new house, and it’s for sale. The donkeys have watched the construction project with interest and we are now waiting to see what happens when someone buys it, only to realize that their neighbors are early risers who bray early and often. Wait until the guinea hens go a’visiting over there. It won’t be pretty.